How can we improve a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship?
Posted on: 10/Jul/2018 12:17:43 PM
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I treat my daughter-in-law as my own daughter. But she never mingles with any of us. She is always in her room and does not come out until my son returns from office. She is very lazy and does not do any household chores. She is also fighting with my son to live independently. How can I make her understand that this is her home and so she cannot live away from us? - Chellamal from Maduranthagam
Hi Chellamal,
You say that you are treating your daughter-in-law as your own daughter. But it does not seem so. Have you ever felt that your daughter is lazy when she does nothing at home?
No! You don’t.
In fact, you are indulgent towards her and pamper her laziness. But, you want your daughter-in-law to be duty conscious and do all the household chores willingly. This is sheer partiality. One rule for your daughter and another one for your daughter-in-law.
Why should your daughter-in-law consider you as her family?
You have done nothing for her. Do you expect her to forget her family just because she is married to your son? How can your daughter-in-law forget her family when they are her roots? This is a great injustice society does to a girl after her marriage.
Don’t thrust your family on your daughter-in-law and make her feel unhappy. If she wants to live independently with your son, allow them to do it. She will respect you for it. She will also evolve into a good home maker. You cannot make any relationship to stay with you by force. It will definitely snap.
Never forget that your son will always remain your son. He will not stop loving you even when he lives away from you. Parents should never force themselves on their children. Don’t make your son feel guilty by playing the victim parent.
It is always better to live away from your children. Your children will love their freedom and you will love your rest and solitude. Don’t get too carried away by movies and serials. They show stilted relationship for their TRP. Understand that your daughter-in-law will only respect you and not accept you as her parents. If you want your daughter-in-law to behave as in movies, it will never happen. So, step away from the life of your son and save your self-respect.
